Rule 16

By Dave Buffington

The Trump helicopter in Cleveland, 2016 
Photo: Voice of America. The Trump helicopter in Cleveland, 2016 Photo: Voice of America. I need a helicopter.

It would be great.

We’d fly it from the top of The Sun Tower to rapidly reach fires and floods and other unfortunate incidents, bringing you first-class coverage of, well, fires and floods and other unfortunate incidents.

But, you ask, where is The Sun Tower?

Well, I need that too.

I envision building it smack dab in the middle of Sun Country. Triangulating from the extremes of our territory, I imagine that middle to be somewhere along Cocoa Avenue.

And the tower will be great, too, the greatest tower ever, a source of pride for all of Sun Country. It will have a parking garage in the basement, a swimming pool on the first level, classrooms on the next and meeting rooms on the next – all would be open to the community for free. On the next two or three levels, we’d have upscale living opportunities, and then, on top, we’d have offices for The Sun.

Actually, on top, we’d have the helipad. Don’t forget that we need that, too.

Along with a few zoning variances.

And some local tax breaks.

And a gaming grant.

And some federal funding. (OK, to keep the feds happy, we won’t call it “The Sun Tower.” We’ll call it the “Hershey Intermodal Center Tower.”)

But why should the taxpayers pay any of this?

Heck, why not?

You’re already asked – no, forced – to pay for all sorts of things that bring big benefits to small segments of the population.

And just this year, across Sun Country, we’ve seen hikes in school and township taxes.

Along with creative new fees, like Derry Township’s new “rain tax.”

And more taxes are coming. For great new buildings. For great new iPads. For great new swimming pools. For all sorts of great things all sorts of people say we “need.”


Now, I’m not opposed to paying for things we really need.

I’m just reminding everyone of Rule 16, a rule I repeated and repeated to my kids when they were teens:

There’s a difference between want and need.

I want that helicopter.

It would be great.

But I don’t need it.

And I definitely shouldn’t be asking you to pay for it.

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